Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
