this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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