so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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