My girlfriend figured out who you are.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
