toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
