She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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