just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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