dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
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I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
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Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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