I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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