So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
