I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
