so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
