ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize