I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
i think my cat just said my name.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??