it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now