i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
