belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
BRING THE BAGELS
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
