thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
