Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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