I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
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why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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