Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Congratulations! We have a period
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
