I'm drive I can fine osifer
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
