dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize