My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize