Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
