I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
