Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
