Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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