either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
