it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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