i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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