The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
