Soap is not a condiment
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize