I just cut my nipple shaving
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
