She is in my trunk
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
