I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
