She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
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Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
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I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
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