happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
