Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
