Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
