Im at strip club and am horny
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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