I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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