He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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