Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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