He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
His hands were made for my vagina.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
