Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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