Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
