You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
