Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize