i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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