So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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