i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
