I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
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I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize