how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
